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[murimurimuri]

[This one is dedicated to all the peeps who've met that special someone: The guy you can bring home to murder everyone you don't like and maybe one or two of the people you do. You haven't decided yet. But now is not the time of murdering, it's the time of hanging out watching TV shows made for children with a bunch of hoarded animals and eating shitty takeout burgers and/or ramen.]

Global Hero Onyankopon could kick Steel Samurai's ass, though.

Comments

[lifehacker]

Fuck you. And your shitty opinions.

[ Picking a piece of slimy tomato off his crotch that escaped his burger. ]

[murimurimuri]

Me you can have, but I'm standing by Onyankopon. He's off saving the Earth while the Steel Samurai is dicking around Neo Olde Tokyo playing footsie with the Evil Magistrate.

[Slurping his noodles.]

[lifehacker]

Yeah, but he's getting some ass that way. Saving the Earth? People just bitch about how you did it on the Internet. Nobody's gonna blow you.

[lifehacker]

-- wait, I missed the first part of what you said.

[murimurimuri]

I know it's hard for you to believe, but some people have things to worry about besides getting ass. Besides, look how he ended up. Would you want to go home to the Pink Princess and the Iron Infant every day?

[murimurimuri]

—Hm? Did I say something interesting?

[lifehacker]

You sure think you say a lot of interesting stuff.

[ Raises an eyebrow, but goes back to watching and eating. MEAT. ]

[murimurimuri]

One of us has to. You want anything from the fridge?

[Getting up for some more beer.]

[lifehacker]

Beer, please.

[ Muffled slightly around his mouthful, putting his feet up on whatever surface is available. ]

[murimurimuri]

[Returning with beers, and saying nothing about his end table there. He calls in a pig so he can put his feet up on something, too.]

What do you wanna do next, Nickel Samurai or Jammin' Ninja?

[murimurimuri]

[Shitty futon is in flat mode. The cats went and sneaked up in the night. Also the pig. Good morning, world.]

[lifehacker]

[ Aggressively spooned the poor clown on and off overnight, but is now curled up with the pig and cats. This is the best place to be. Thanks. ]

[murimurimuri]

[Not sure whether to be more irritated about being spooned or not being spooned. That pig is a good cuddler, too...

Ah well. He'll just passive-aggressivly steal the blanket while pretending to still be asleep.]

[lifehacker]

[ FARTS IN RESPONSE. ]

[murimurimuri]

.............

[Welp now seems like a good time to go make some coffee]

[lifehacker]

"To the victor belong the spoils." -- William L. Marcy

[ He eventually lifts his head up, looking pretty disoriented. ]

Is this a pig? What the fu...

[murimurimuri]

You don't remember? You two got pretty friendly last night.

[lifehacker]

Well, cool. I love bacon, and pigs have thirty-minute orgasms. We both win.

[murimurimuri]

[What time is it? What day is it? Were the drinks last night laced with antifreeze? These are all relevant questions.]

[lifehacker]

[ And only a long, sad fart answers. ]

[murimurimuri]

[Kicks at Travis grumpily before rolling over and pulling a pillow over his face. Actually it's the fat rabbit, but it might as well be a pillow for all intents and purposes.]

[lifehacker]

[ Here's another fart for your trouble, and a hand scratching his crotch. ]

[murimurimuri]

Knock it offff.

[li'l bit whiny there]

[lifehacker]

[ There's a hand awkwardly fumbling around, struggling to eventually find the edge of a blanket and Dutch Oven this bitch. ]

[murimurimuri]

[Flails in this deep and terrible circle of sulfurous hell. His rabbit cannot save him now.]