HELL YEAH

[murimurimuri]

[Look at that Simon's finally managed to fulfill a life dream of moving somewhere where it never snows! Which is to say, he died and went to hell. And well-earned, too, with all the death and destruction he caused. Congratulations, Simon!

Excuse him, though, while he ducks behind a boulder to hyperventilate (can he even breathe?) and feel sorry for himself.]

Comments

[autorejoin]

You know, that's not a very good place to hide.

[ Says the asshole standing on top of the boulder with a long, fluttering cloak. ]

[murimurimuri]

[He jumps bolt-upright and starts backing away slowly.]

M-my bad! I'll go hide somewhere else!

[autorejoin]

It's pretty much the same for miles around. Shitty hiding places and all.

[murimurimuri]

Oh um. Thanks for the tip, mister, I'll just... go check those out then...

[He starts edging away slightly faster.]

[autorejoin]

[ Katou raises an eyebrow. ]

Say, where do you think you're going, anyway?

[murimurimuri]

[He stops in his tracks, expression flatlining.]

I don't know.

[autorejoin]

Well, why don't we start with introductions?

[ He leaps off the boulder and lands in front of Simon. ]

I'm Katou, and this— [ He spreads his arms wide. ] —is your new home forever. Welcome to hell!

[murimurimuri]

[Simon leaps back; not far, but enough to be out of arm's range.]

Thanks?

[autorejoin]

[ He leans in closely to Simon, speaking in a stage whisper. ]

Between you and me, I don't think this is a "thanks" sort of situation.

[ He pulls back and gives Simon a liquid shrug. ]

But it is what it is! You know?

[murimurimuri]

Well... no, not really. This isn't anything like I imagined.

[autorejoin]

[ A small, amused smirk curled the corners of Katou's lips upwards. ]

Were you expecting fire and brimstone?

[murimurimuri]

Sure, why not. With cartoon devils in red footie pajamas.

[Completely tense and closely watching Katou's every move.]

[autorejoin]

There's none of that nearby, but I'm sure you could find some kinky people if you look hard enough.

[ It wouldn't even be that hard, but Katou didn't add that. His posture is relaxed, comfortable. He's looking at Simon, but it doesn't seem to be particularly intent. ]

[murimurimuri]

Pass.

What about people I used to know? What are the odds I'll run into them?

[autorejoin]

Depends on how likely they were to end up in hell! But you know, there's plenty of people I haven't run into yet. So...

[ He waves his hand in a so-so motion. ]

It's not impossible, we'll say.

[murimurimuri]

Hm. All right.

[This news brings a bit of visible calm.]

So what do I do now?

[autorejoin]

[ He tilts his head when he notices Simon's visible relaxation, but he doesn't call the guy out on it. ]

Well, we should probably get going before the ghouls come out to play. That's unpleasant.

[murimurimuri]

[Welp, there comes that tension right back.]

...Lead the way.

[autorejoin]

[ It's entirely likely that the direction Katou picked was random, but he turns towards it with a spring in his step. ]

Let's go this way!

[murimurimuri]

Okay...

[He'll follow along, but not closely.]

[autorejoin]

[ The general area seems pretty desolate, but there's a cluster of trees in the distance. ]

So, how'd you die?

[murimurimuri]

Knife to the heart.

[He's an Ace Attorney character, after all.]

[autorejoin]

[ Katou winces slightly. ]

Oooh. Yeah, that'd do it.

[murimurimuri]

It was sort of anticlimactic after all the things that failed to kill me.

[autorejoin]

Now that sounds like an interesting story.

[ He considers, then offers up another sentence with a macabre glee. ]

I was stabbed with a sword. Twice!